Ultimate Gift List for Mommies

Come Christmas time, birthdays, mothers day and so on I'm sure all of us mommies receive similar gifts from others. Usually involve some type of Pinterest inspired gift from your child, flowers, cards, pedicure/manicure gift cards or whatever you flat out told you husband, boyfriend, whoever to buy you. Now we love these things, I don't think any mommy could complain about these gifts but if you asked us what we really wanted it would be slightly different... Here is the ultimate mommie gift list. Feel free to print out and hand directly to your significant other.

• Sleep. We would love a solid 24 hours of sleep. Lock us in a sound proof room without any contact with the outside world except for Netflix. Ill give you a special knock if it is an emergency. Prior to my 24 hours of sleep I will be taking a 20 minute shower, undisturbed until my body is shaven from head to toe.

• Lipo Suction. Allow me to medically get all the fat sucked from my body so I can stop complaining to you how fat I am every day and can quit all the fad diets I start every month. Oh and while I'm at it, let me get the stretch mark treatments that every celebrity must have because it must exist, because last time I checked being a celebrity didn't change their DNA and magically allow them to pass by that shit of a pregnancy result.

• $50,000 to Urban Outfitters please.

• During the holidays please get me into the spirit. I need/want lots of holiday spirit, as in drive me to Wine & Spirits so I can drown myself in a box of wine. Repeat this one on demand.

• Surprise me. When you become a parent life is nothing but routine. Children need routine to function so I begin to do the same mindless things every day. Please shake things up for us once in a while. Plan a night for us two, away from the kids but without asking or telling me a single detail. (Other than if I need my ball gown or my nikes)

• Understand that when I tell you 'I need a break from the kids' it is not for a single second that I do not love those little monsters with every part of me but after a full day while you were at work only having to focus on you and your task at hand, I had to take care of myself and keep two children alive. They can't even go to the bathroom by themselves, hell I can't go to the bathroom by myself there is always an audience. So  when you come home after a 10 hour day I need 10 minutes, locked in my room to just breathe for a second.

• Move us to a location that either Dunkin or Starbucks is in walking distance. Sure the Keurig is great and fast but it does not provide extra espresso shots that are needed in my morning and mid afternoon haze. And the tasty flavors and syrups don't hurt either. Walking distance because it takes an hour to get two kids into the car and by than I would be dead.

• While us mommies are attempting to get the thousands of chores done like folding laundry, take the toddler in another room and keep him or her away so our job can get done a little quicker because folding laundry with a toddler is as efficient as trying to straighten up a desk of papers while a fan blows on it.

There you go Daddy's, husbands, boyfriends, whoever, this is what we really want and if you happen to have some left over cash install a wine dispenser in multiple rooms of the house. That sounds like my kind of heaven.

xoxo mommies