Novinophobia; Fear of running out of Wine

Hello mommies! I hope everyone had a good weekend. Today's blog post is all about mommies letting loose and drinking booze. Yes, we are mothers, that does not mean we have to sit at home 365 days a year. We deserve nights out especially I think for us young mommies who do not get the chance to do what all of our other friends are doing. Now I'm not saying go out to bars every weekend, that costs a lot of money and weekends can be a great chance to do fun things with the babies but every once in a while go for it! Have a grandparent watch the babes overnight. Now for all those people out there that think when they see a young mom out at a bar that we just shoved our kids on to someone, no. Grandparents BEG to babysit, it makes them so happy, so why not. Now I will have to start by saying pre babies, I drank, a lot. College gave me a high tolerance and then pregnancies destroyed it. I think we can all agree boozing after babies is a different journey. Here is what I think it looks like for most of us!

 

Getting ready to go out after having babies I believe puts a little more pressure on us to look as good as possible. Or a lot of the time it's is the only time we have a reason to put more effort into what we look like. I contour and highlight when I go out, mainly because I have to fake the illusion my face didn't blow up after having kids. Que the picture above, I was contouring the shit out of my double chin. Never a good look in pictures.

 

Most important step for me, putting give or take ten pounds of under eye concealer on because mamma has dark circles from all the sleep I actually do get. I'm a firm believer in naps so my dark circles just are from genetics. Sorry kids.

Then the drinking begins...

"Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Merlot, yup gangs all here."

"This goes down easy peezy."

"Third glass down, I can hang."

"Does anyone else think its hot in here?"

 

All your friends want to take shots and you have a solid buzz going so you think that sounds like a great idea.

"This will be fun."

"I loved shots back in the day"

"Everyone is staring at me, keep acting like you're not nervous."

 

"Holy shit, that was plain vodka."

"I wish my weight was as low as my tolerance."

"Everyone else is smiling like that was fun, wtf?"

 



 

Because after you have children you need this much of a chaser after taking one shot, as you reflect on how much you are going to regret that tomorrow. But then all those booze settle in and you will have so much fun and you SHOULD. Be 21,22,23 and so on. Last time I checked it is not a crime to drink even though you are a parent. P.S. am I only mom who as soon as they are pretty much drunk the cell phone comes out and you are showing everyone pictures of your kids?

Drinking beer after babies:

"Wow this really accentuates my post baby belly in the most unflattering way possible."

"Remember to wear the most non body forming outfit next time, a potato sack will suffice."

"Also start that diet Monday that you've been saying you will start every Monday."

 





"Screw it, chug this so you can forget about all the weight you've gained, it taste delicious."

"Probably going to stop at Sheetz on the way home anyway."

"Fat and proud, bitches."

Being a mom you cannot stay at a bar til close, it impossible I swear. I look like this by midnight because I was up at 6 am the day before. I CAN'T HANG ANYMORE.

 

Hungover as a parent....

 

"I said Chardonnay, what do you not understand."

"Is he getting drunk off my breath?"

"C-H-A-R-D-O-N-N-A-Y."

"F*** chardonnay and you're hangover a from hell."

 

 

Being hungover as a parent leaves you trying to catch a quick nap whenever you can. Laying face down on the counter while preparing meals is my favorite. Oh and yes Jude is on formula now, SUE ME. I know I know breast is best, well guess what my breasts gave up.

Do any other moms do this to try and catch a few Z's? Just lay on the floor and become a human jungle gym. This way you can close your eyes but know your kids are safe because they are literally on top of you. I've been guilty of using Ophelia's pedialyte to try and help my body recover from the boxed wine and cheap vodka in my body.

 

Mommies let loose every once in a while, it is good for you. Have a fun week with your little ones!

 I want to thank everyone who reads my blog, I've had way more pages views than I would of ever imagined, a little over 1,000 since starting, Keep reading  xoxo